


maybe home, perhaps, means a little bit more

by littlebmam



Category: Holby City
Genre: 24 hours of pining, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, But it feels like 6000 years, Christmas mircales can in fact happen when match-making elves decide to get involved, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebmam/pseuds/littlebmam
Summary: Major Berenice Wolfe of the RAMC is home for the holidays with no one waiting for her and no place to stay for the night. Serena Campbell to the rescue.Canon divergent AU where canon timelines have been messed around with, Elinor is alive and Serena quit her job as a surgeon to open a coffee shop.
Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 19
Kudos: 83
Collections: Berena Secret Santa 2020





	maybe home, perhaps, means a little bit more

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Guinan333](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guinan333/gifts).



> This one goes to Guinan333 who prompted me to write fluffy holiday coffee shop-esque good times.  
> The title is an adaptation of a quote from How the Grinch Stole Christmas!  
> Special thanks to everyone's favourite Pers who took the time to proof read this and was generally very supportive.

Serena had just started the washing program on one of the coffee machines when the bell above the door jingled and a gust of wind carried a whirlwind of snowflakes inside to be instantly melted by the cosy, almost stuffy warmth inside the coffee shop. Serena looked up and was momentarily ashamed by her own reaction. The towel she had used to dry the surface of the counter fell from her hands, almost synchronised with her dropping jaw and skyrocketing pulse.

  


_Ding dong!_

  


Later Serena wouldn't have been able to say, if anyone ever asked her, what she noticed first about the woman. It could’ve been the warm eyes or perhaps the sharp cheekbones or maybe the soft-looking pink lips. Or it could just as well have been the messy blonde hair pulled back into what had once been a neat bun. Or, and that is very likely, it might have been the army fatigues that looked sinfully good on the woman.

  


Serena had always known she was no dyed-in-the-wool heterosexual but my oh my she had never seen a woman like this before. And she most definitely had never so much as entertained the idea of a uniform kink for herself, none too impressed with the abuse of authority she had witnessed more than once in her previous career. But this woman was something else.

  


This woman, in fact, was standing right in front of Serena, just across the counter, a curious and thankfully friendly smirk pulling at her lips as she looked at Serena…

  


_Staring! I’m staring!_

  


Serena shook her head and cleared her throat, discovering that it was in fact quite impossible to force blood away from your face. “Hello and Merry Christmas!” she said, trying to sound cheerful and not at all flustered.

  


The other woman’s face fell slightly at the sentiment and Serena had to suppress the desire to ask the other woman what was wrong because frankly, it was none of her business. She wouldn’t be the first and, alas, not the last person either to feel less than cheerful during Christmas. So instead she decided to do her best to keep the conversation going and perhaps earn herself the right to pry just a little.

  


“I love the snow but hate the cold and you look like you’re in need of warming up. What can I offer you?” Serena asked, ignoring the fact that the other woman had yet to utter a single word.

  


“Erm, coffee?” the woman asked and to Serena’s great joy the sparkle returned to her eyes.

  


“If that’s what you’re after you have come to the right place!” Serena gestured to the black wall behind her that was covered in her own neat handwriting listing all the drinks available for ordering in white chalk. “Pick your poison?”

  


The woman’s eyes scanned the wall for all of two second before landing back on Serena’s, her earlier cheeky smile now a little shy but still just as warm.

  


“Do you offer Irish?”

  


Serena chuckled, “No, I’m afraid not. We’re not licenced to sell alcohol.”

  


“Well, then I have no idea what to order.”

  


“Not much of a coffee drinker?” Serena asked, genuinely surprised. She’d assumed coffee was sort of mandatory to make it in the military.

  


“Well, not that. It’s just- well, my taste is quite boring,” she admitted, the shy smile never leaving her face. “What do you like?”

  


“Personally, strong and hot is all I care about. Well, and the roast but you won’t find anything below my standards in here.”

  


It was the other woman’s turn to chuckle and Serena couldn’t help smiling and the sound, couldn’t help wondering what the other woman’s genuine laughter would sound like.

  


“But you work at a coffee shop that sells” the woman squinted a little to read the writing on the wall, Serena hiding a smirk at the fact the other woman was in obvious need of a pair of glasses if not two, “toasted white chocolate and salted caramel espresso frappuccino?!”

  


“Oh, I own the place but as far as business is concerned, it wouldn’t be very sustainable to cater only to my own preferences.”

  


“You’re quite right,” the woman smiled and Serena wondered for a moment if she might actually be flirting with her. “But I bet you usually are,” she added with a wink and Serena knew she was.

  


“Oh, I am! Now, want to try the toasted white chocolate-” Serena got cut off by the woman flapping her arm that wasn’t holding a bag slung over her shoulder around in clearly exaggerated distaste.

  


“I will drink no such thing!” she exclaimed, her wide smile accentuating her cheekbones. “How about a very large and very strong cup of coffee with no milk and no sugar?”

  


“My kind of girl,” Serena said, her eyes involuntarily dropping to the other woman’s lips. She was a natural flirt but this woman, as said before, was something else. With another crooked yet somehow still ridiculously adorable grin the woman paid for her coffee and went to sit down when Serena promised to bring the drink over once it was ready.

  


It took her essentially no time to make it. Looking at the leftover food she decided to add a slice of rich chocolate cake in case the woman was hungry. She was just settling down, having set her kitbag beside her chair and taken off her jacket, when Serena sauntered over.

  


“There you go,” she said, trying desperately to think of a reason to stay and chat with the woman but her usual ability to have a conversation with anyone about anything while simultaneously charming their socks off seemed to have forsaken her.

  


“Thank y- oh, but I didn’t order a cake!”

  


“You didn’t but unless you have a chocolate intolerance, in which case, my condolences, or are vegan, I expect you to eat it because it’s Christmas Eve and it’s late, and I cannot have our soldiers walking around with no nutrition. Well, obviously if you don’t like chocolate I am not going to force you to eat the thing. It’s just-” Serena cringed, cutting off her own rambling.

  


_Way to go, Campbell, that’s how you get the girl. Make her feel sorry for you by coming across as weird as humanly possible._

  


“Okay,” the woman said simply and Serena relaxed when it was obvious she wasn’t laughing at her nor annoyed. “Thank you for the cake. I’m not allergic to chocolate, nor am I vegan. That would make my life in the forces quite complicated indeed. And it looks delicious.”

  


“You’re welcome.”

  


Serena was just about to turn away to leave the woman alone. The soldier might not be annoyed with her but she herself was. Awkward rambling aside she hadn’t managed to come up with a reason to stay and keep chatting. She didn’t think the other woman would necessarily mind but she didn’t want to impose herself on her.

  


Fortunately for her, Serena was saved by the woman in question herself.

  


“It’s late on Christmas Eve as you just said. Why is the owner of a coffee shop still working?” she asked before taking the first forkful of her slice of cake and releasing an almost obscene moan the second it hit her tongue. Serena finally understood why she had been told on more than one occasion that the noises she made while enjoying delicious food and wine was borderline indecent. She was suddenly feeling ever so slightly uncomfortable.

  


“Well,” Serena cleared her throat, turning back to the woman. “Firstly, to give my staff who are coming in for a few hours tomorrow around noon some time off and because my children, well, daughter and nephew are only coming over tomorrow morning. Not much fun sitting around in an empty house.”

  


Another dark shadow crossed the other woman’s eyes before she shook her head as if to clear her head. “No husband?” she asked instead.

  


Serena waved her left hand in front of the woman to show off the lack of a ring. “He has the daughter for tonight. What about you? No ring, no husband. Partner? Children?”

  


The woman seemed to close in on herself. She didn’t physically move but the distance between them suddenly felt like miles. Her previously warm eyes became guarded. “No and yes. Two. Cameron and Charlotte,” she answered almost mechanically, as if saying the words was something she’d rehearsed. Serena realised she had well and properly put her foot in it.

  


“I’m sorry-” she began but the woman interrupted her.

  


“No, it’s okay. It’s not your fault I’m-”

  


When it became obvious the woman was not going to continue Serena decided a change of subject was in order. And it would most definitely be less awkward than just walking away after making her obviously uncomfortable.

  


“Now that we’re this far into our conversation, would it be appropriate to ask for your name?” she asked, taking a seat across from the other woman.

  


“What? Oh, I’m so sorry. It’s Bernie,” she said and once again seemed to relax a little, offering Serena a flicker of a smile as reached for her coffee. “And this,” she lifted the cup, “is divine!”

  


Serena laughed. “I’m glad you like it. But really, Bernie? I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman with a name like this before. Is it short for something?”

  


Bernie groaned. “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask!”

  


“Well, count me intrigued because judging by your reaction I assume it must be good!” Serena exclaimed, happy to be back on more solid ground with the woman and learn some more about her. “So what is it? Bernadette?”

  


“Oh, no!”

  


“Good, you don’t look like a Bernadette. What else? You know, I’m struggling with female names one could shorten to ‘Bernie’. Beatrice? No? Erm, Belinda?”

  


Bernie let out a snort, almost choking on her coffee. “Belinda? Do I look like a Belinda?”

  


“What’s wrong with Belinda?” Serena asked, laughing.

  


“Nothing! It’s just, it’s not… me? And how would you even get a Bernie out of Belinda?”

  


“How do you get a Dick out of Richard?”

  


Bernie made a noise which startled Serena for a moment before she realised the woman was laughing. And what a wonderful laugh it was. She’d wondered before what it would sound like but never would she have expected this. Yet, Serena thought, it was only fitting a woman like _this_ would have such a memorable way of expressing her joy. So really, Serena had no choice but to join in with the other woman.

  


Once they’d had a chance to calm down, Bernie’s eyes were sparkling and cheeks the loveliest shade of pink. Serena mentally chastised herself yet again for staring, forcing herself to return to their previous game.

  


“Okay, so what is your name?” Serena asked rhetorically, faking taking her task as a guesser very seriously. “Benita? No, that doesn’t sound right either. Beverly?”

  


“Nope. Got any more?” Bernie asked, finishing her cake in what Serena thought must’ve been record time. It was rich and sweet and not to be consumed carelessly. She had a tough soldier in her hands.

  


Serena thought for a moment longer before admitting defeat. “No, I’m all out.”

  


“It’s Berenice.”

  


Serena raised a perfect eyebrow, scanning Berenice up and down before settling on her eyes again. “It suits you,” she decided.

  


“D’you think?”

  


“Yes, I do. So, how did your parents decide on it? Fans of 300 year old tragic plays or Edgar Allan Poe?”

  


“Erm, not quite sure, to be honest. Perhaps they just wanted to name me something, what is it the kids say these days? Extra?”

  


Serena laughed, “I have no clue what the kids say these days. But since you said that, I assume your middle name must also be… unconventional?”

  


“Oh, no-no-no! We are not going there!” Bernie hid her face behind her hands. Serena reached forward without thinking and wrapped her fingers around Bernie’s left wrist, pulling the hand away.

  


“Come on, it can’t be worse than Berenice!” she said, her smile wicked but her eyes kind.

  


“Oi! You just said it fit me!” Bernie laughed.

  


“It does,” Serena said more seriously. “Now spill!”

  


“Want to guess again?”

  


“That depends, do you have a nickname for it as well?”

  


“No.”

  


“Well, I’m not going to guess blindly,” Serena said, noticing she was still holding Bernie’s hand. She didn’t want to let go and considering Bernie hadn’t pulled away she assumed she didn’t particularly mind either.

  


“Why should I tell you?” Bernie asked.

  


“Show me yours, I’ll show you mine?”

  


“Go on then, Serena. What’s your middle name?”

  


“Wait! How do you know my name?” Serena asked. She doesn’t normally wear an apron or a name tag, preferring her ridiculously expensive silk blouses instead. She’d ruined quite a few but still refused to subject herself to wearing an apron.

  


“You said you’re the owner, the place is called Serena’s. Call it an educated guess.”

  


“Clever little thing, aren’t you?” Serena teased. “Fine. It’s Wendy.”

  


“Serena Wendy? It’s lovely.”

  


“Thank you. Now your turn.”

  


“I was hoping-”

  


“Spill!” Serena said, tugging on Bernie’s hand.

  


“Fine, my name is Berenice Griselda Wolfe.”

  


Serena’s jaw dropped, the dots finally connecting. “Bernie Wolfe?”

  


“Yeah, though we were discussing the Griselda part of it.”

  


“You’re Bernie Wolfe? The legend of RAMC, the best trauma surgeon this country has to offer?” To say Serena was starstruck would be foolish, she was no teenager. Awed to be in the presence of someone she would once upon a time have given a lot and then some more for a chance to work with? Definitely.

  


“Yeah. How- sorry, how do you know who I am?”

  


“Oh, Serena Campbell, former vascular surgeon. Now retired and providing people like the one I used to be with much needed sugar and caffeine.”

  


***

  


Bernie and Serena ended up talking shop for well over an hour, Serena getting up to make them both a cup of decaf coffee in between. Serena found she quite enjoyed discussing medicine again, especially with someone as skilled and experienced as Bernie, and who was the same age as her and therefore familiar with the path the both had been forced to take to get where they are. Or in Serena’s case, used to be.

  


Once there was a lull in their conversation, Bernie finally noticed the room around them and the obvious lack of people in it.

  


“Oh, my god, you’re closed!”

  


“Yes, I am aware,” Serena said slowly. She’d thought Bernie had known.

  


“No, but- I mean, when?”

  


“The closing time was just around the time you came in actually.”

  


“Oh, I am so sorry! You should’ve told me, I would’ve left. Now I’ve kept you here and on Christmas Eve of all times.”

  


Bernie started to look genuinely distressed so Serena moved to sit beside her, resting her hand on her shoulder.

  


“I told you, my daughter and nephew are coming tomorrow. The house is empty. And I really enjoyed our talk. So no harm done and no need to apologise.” Checking to make sure Bernie wasn’t going to try and argue, Serena continued, “What about you? You look like you’ve come straight from the airport. Where are you staying?”

  


“Erm-”

  


“Oh, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the name of your hotel,” Serena teased. As the other woman’s gaze dropped in embarrassment at her words, Serena turned serious. “You have a hotel booked, haven’t you?”

  


“Not exactly,” Bernie avoided Serena’s gaze.

  


“What does that mean?”

  


“It means I went through a few when I came into town but they were all completely booked. So I called pretty much every hotel in this city I could find online and apparently I was a little late. What with Christmas and all.”

  


“Okay, so where are you staying? You mentioned you don’t have a husband. Kids?”

  


Bernie’s face clouded over for a moment at Serena mentioning her children as it had before and Serena cringed for having let the woman’s earlier reaction slip her mind. It was obviously a sensitive subject for her and for some reason the thought of making Bernie feel bad made her feel slightly queasy.

  


“Yeah, I- erm, we got a divorce recently. The kids, well, they didn’t take it very well. So I’m on my own this Christmas,” Bernie said, face flushed as if ashamed by the fact.

  


“I’m sorry. As I’ve said, I’m also a fully paid up member of the embittered ex-wives club so I get it. My daughter didn’t take me divorcing her adulterous piece of shit of a father very well either,” Serena said, rubbing Bernie’s shoulder, which her hand was still resting on.

  


Bernie gave her a wry smile but didn’t say anything on the subject so Serena asked, “Where are you staying then?”

  


“No clue. I was planning on staying with my son. We’ve texted occasionally, building bridges and all that. But when I landed I got a text from him saying that Charlotte had decided she didn’t want to stay with Marcus, he’s their father, while in Holby over the holidays, so she’s staying with him and as she has refused to have anything to do with me since the divorce, I’m no longer welcome.” 

  


Bernie hadn’t looked at Serena while talking, hiding her eyes behind her messy fringe which Serena couldn’t help but want to push away from her forehead. The quiet sniffle told Serena all she needed to know. She reached her arm across Bernie’s back, resting her hand on her other shoulder, and pulled her in against herself.

  


“They’ll come around. You’re making progress with Cameron and Charlotte will get there as well. It might take time but she will, I promise,” she murmured into Bernie’s ear, her hand rubbing soothing circles on Bernie’s shoulder who gave a small, shaky nod, but Serena guessed it was more out of appreciation for the sentiment of her words rather than actually believing them to be true.

  


In less than a minute, Bernie had pulled herself back together and gave Serena a slightly wobbly smile to let her know she was alright.

  


“Thanks,” she murmured.

  


“No need,” Serena said, patting Bernie on the back. “And you’re coming over to stay with me.”

  


“What?”

  


“You heard me.”

  


“I- I couldn’t. I mean- I wouldn’t want to impose. And I’m practically a stranger. And-”

  


Serena cut Bernie’s rambling off. “Do you plan to kill me in my sleep?”

  


“What?! No! Why would I-”

  


“Is it your intention to steal every valuable thing in my home?”

  


“No!”

  


“Do you have some other evil intentions towards me or my things?”

  


“Serena!?”

  


“Well, that’s settled then. I’m not leaving you out in the cold in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. I have a perfectly good spare bedroom you can use. And I have more wine than I could ever get through by myself.” Serena smiled, a twinkle in her eye. “Okay, that was a lie. But there is more than enough for both of us.”

  


“A- are you sure?”

  


“Yes. Now stop arguing. It’s late and it has been a long day, even longer for you I presume. So the sooner we get going, the sooner we can open that wine.”

  


Bernie’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears she refused to let fall when she looked at Serena. “Thank you.”

  


Serena just smiled in response.

  


“Let’s go.”

  


***

  


The ride to Serena’s house was filled with stories of Edward and the mayhem into which he had turned Serena’s life.

  


“Jesus! Why did you put up with this?” Bernie asked, incredulous on Serena’s behalf after another tale of his adventures.

  


“Denial? For Elinor’s sake? I don’t know. Both of these reasons and probably more,” Serena shrugged.

  


“Was it worth it?”

  


Serena snorted. “No, no it was not.” She turned more serious, eyes fixed on the snowy road ahead of her. “Perhaps if I’d left him sooner we could’ve avoided the…”

  


Serena trailed off and when Bernie was certain she wasn’t going to say more she wasn’t sure whether to ask or simply let it be. They’d known each other no more than a few hours. It really wasn’t her place to pry.

  


“So, tell me, how did a vascular surgeon end up hanging up the scrubs and putting on an apron to make the best coffee I think I’ve ever tasted?” Bernie asked, hoping to steer their conversation towards more light-hearted topics.

  


“First of all, I don’t wear aprons. And, well, it was actually because- okay,” Serena took a moment to gather her thoughts. “So what I was going to say just now was that- well, my daughter, Elinor, she, erm, she was addicted to drugs. It started a few years back. She’s clean now and she has told me on more than one occasions that it had nothing to do with the divorce but I’ve been wondering ever since if it was my fault. That if I’d done something differently or-”

  


Bernie turned in her seat, pulling her right knee up in front of her to face Serena and grabbed her left hand resting in her lap. “Listen, there are so many what if-s in life, especially with children. But I can tell you’ve never been anything but supportive of your daughter. None of us are perfect mothers, nor fathers. But Elinor’s right, this really isn’t your fault.”

  


Serena gave Bernie a watery smile before facing forward again, trying to make sure they made it to her house in one piece.

  


“Thank you.”

  


Bernie just nodded and squeezed Serena’s hand once more before gently laying it back on Serena’s thigh, wondering to herself at the effect the warmth and softness of the other woman’s skin had on her.

  


“Anyway, to cut the long story short, she almost ran Jason and me over and overdosed, almost died.” Serena’s voice hitched on the last word. She cleared her throat before continuing. “I took some time off work after that to help her get better. And once she did, I no longer felt like going back. So I decided to try something else, opened a coffee shop and I love it.”

  


“I’m so glad that all worked out for you in the end.”

  


“It did. And it will for you, too.”

  


Bernie gave her another one of her small, shy smiles Serena had already come to adore and couldn’t help wanting to be the reason for them appearing.

  


“So you worked at Holby City, right?” Bernie asked after a moment.

  


“I did.”

  


“I was offered a position there about, oh, two years ago now. On AAU.”

  


“That was my ward. Two years ago they still didn’t have a new lead? I mean, I assume they asked you to be the lead?”

  


“They did and apparently so. They said someone called Ric had been running things but that they were thinking of opening a trauma unit on AAU and wanted me to take charge.”

  


“I take it you turned them down?” Serena asked, pulling up on her driveway.

  


“Wow, your house looks lovely,” Bernie said, leaning forward to look out the front window to get a better view. “And yes I did,” she said, motioning down at her fatigues that still made Serena’s mouth go try whenever she focused on them for too long.

  


“How did they get hold of you in the first place?” Serena asked, opening the door and getting out, Bernie mirroring her movements.

  


“I, uh, was a patient there for a while,” Bernie said across the roof of the car.

  


“What? What happened?” Serena asked as she opened the boot, worried even now although the woman was obviously well or she wouldn’t be allowed back on the front lines.

  


“I got blown up,” Bernie said nonchalantly as she lifted her heavy bag onto her shoulder with admirable ease that made Serena’s knees go slightly weak before closing the boot.

  


It took a moment for Serena to register what Bernie had said. 

  


“Blown up?!”

  


“Yeah, IED explosion. Ended up upside down in a poppy field. Needed Guy Self and Oliver Valentine’s expertise but ended up being witness to a dick measuring contest instead, if you pardon my language.”

  


“Not at all, I am more than familiar with both of them and I’d expect nothing less of them. Or should I say more? But they did end up patching you up well enough, I take it,” she said, making a show of looking Bernie up and down as they made their way to the front door.

  


“They did… after I told them how to do it,” Bernie said with a chuckle.

  


“Of course you did. Idiots, both of them.” Serena opened the door with exaggerated flourish and gestured for Bernie to enter before her, “And this is my humble little home. Welcome!”

  


“Oh, it really is lovely! And warm,” Bernie said, shuddering a little after only a minute out in the cold.

  


“Used to a bit warmer climate, aren’t you?” Serena asked, closing the door behind them quickly to keep the warmth inside the house.

  


“Guilty as charged.”

  


“I’ll open a bottle of my finest Shiraz and start a fire in the sitting room. You’ll be warmed up and through in no time,” Serena said, hanging up her coat and scarf and showing Bernie where she should leave her boots.

  


“Thank you. Do you mind if I change first, though? I’d rather put my civilian hat on now that I’m officially on leave. And perhaps a shower if it’s not too much trouble? Planes have a way of making you feel dirty even if you’re on them for only a few hours.”

  


“Of course, let me show you the guest bedroom,” Serena said, motioning for Bernie to follow her up the stairs.

  


***

  


After her shower and change of clothes it was obvious Bernie wasn’t up for a long evening in front of the fireplace. It was already quite late but Serena couldn’t help wanting to spend a little bit more time with the woman. Bernie tried her best to stifle her yawns but was in Serena’s opinion doing a piss poor job of it. After they had had a glass of promised fine Shiraz each Serena decided to let the woman rest and ushered her back upstairs with strict instructions to get some proper sleep and a promise of breakfast with simple, strong, hot coffee in the morning.

  


***

  


Bernie let out a groan of satisfaction as she slowly made her way back to consciousness. The mattress she was sprawled across was firm and of ridiculously good quality and the linen was soft and felt luxurious against her skin. She was barely awake but could already feel the pleasant effects of a good night’s rest. Morning sunlight was creeping in through a gap in the curtains Bernie could sense without having to open her eyes.

  


She suddenly opened her eyes with a start. This was not a hotel. It took her sleep muddled brain a few moments to remember the previous night. The gorgeous coffee shop owner with sparkling eyes and incredibly soft hands Bernie hadn’t wanted to stop feeling resting on any part of her own body. The offer to spend the night in said gorgeous woman’s guest bedroom. The glass of Shiraz and sleepy conversation in front of the fireplace.

  


Bernie felt her face heat with shame. Serena had been so warm and kind and Bernie couldn’t help but want to open up to her. About her being a failure as a wife and more importantly – a mother – who had nowhere to go on Christmas Eve. And now it was Christmas Day, probably later in the morning judging by the sunlight, and she was still here, imposing on Serena when her daughter and nephew were about to come over if they weren’t here already.

  


Bernie leapt from the bed, changing her clothes in record speed, thanking a God she didn’t believe in for her army training, and chucked the things she had taken out of her kitbag the night before back into it. After straightening the bed covers and checking that she hadn’t left anything behind she made her way downstairs, making sure to move quietly in case Serena’s family had already come over.

  


She could hear music coming from the kitchen but no conversation. Letting out a sigh of relief she dropped her bag by the front door and moved down the hall towards the kitchen, not quite able to bring herself to leave without thanking Serena for her generosity first.

  


“Good morning sleepy-head!” Serena said, a bright smile lighting up her features the moment she noticed Bernie in the kitchen doorway, leaning somewhat awkwardly against the door frame.

  


“Morning,” Bernie murmured, unable to contain her own happiness at the sight of Serena in a dressing gown, no makeup on and hair slightly messy yet still looking incredibly soft. She refused to even entertain the idea of what it might mean that even a sight of the other woman made her feel so warm inside.

  


“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep in quite so late.” Bernie looked around the kitchen, searching for a clock, realising she had no clue as to what time it actually was.

  


“Oh, don’t worry about it. You probably needed it and it’s really not even that late. Just before ten. Coffee?” Serena asked, already moving to grab a mug from the cupboard to pour Bernie a cup before she could answer.

  


“Thank you but you-” Bernie didn’t even get to voice her objection before Serena had already set down a delicious smelling cup of coffee on the counter, the scent drawing Bernie in like a siren’s song. As she lifted the cup she thought perhaps Serena didn’t mind her staying for a little while longer to drink her morning coffee if the smile in her eyes was anything to go by.

  


“What would you like for breakfast?”

  


“Serena, you really don’t have to.”

  


“Don’t be daft. It’s no more trouble making breakfast for two than it is for one.”

  


It was quickly becoming obvious to Bernie that saying no to Serena was incredibly difficult if not downright impossible.

  


“Whatever you’re having is fine. No baked beans for me, though,” she said, sitting down by the kitchen island, admitting defeat. There really was no resisting Serena.

  


“You don’t like baked beans?” Serena asked, feigning shock at the revelation, earning a chuckle from Bernie.

  


“I actually do but we get them so much back on tour that I’m honestly a little sick of them. I never eat them when I’m back in England where there is fresh food available.”

  


“Makes sense. How about fried mushrooms and tomatoes, sausages and toast?”

  


“If your cooking is even half as good as your coffee then I am willing to eat just about anything.”

  


“Hah! Let’s see if you can put your money where your mouth is… or in this case, mouth where your mouth- okay, never mind. We’ll see once we get around to dinner tonight. I am infamous for my inability to cook turkey,” Serena said with a smirk, ignoring her own momentary stumble, and started taking the necessary ingredients out of the fridge.

  


“Dinner?”

  


“Yes, Christmas dinner,” Serena said, as if it was obvious that Bernie would be staying with her for the day.

  


“I- I don’t know if-”

  


At Bernie’s surprised expression and obvious discomfort at the idea Serena mentally kicked herself for having assumed the army medic would want to spend the holidays at her house. Not having had a place to stay the night before didn’t mean she had nowhere to be today.

  


“I’m sorry, I just assumed. I mean, obviously you have somewhere else to be today. I shouldn’t have-”

  


“No, no! It’s fine. I have nowhere else to be. I just don’t want to impose any more than I already have.”

  


“Ridiculous. You’re not imposing. I invited you over and you’re more than welcome to stay here. I refused to leave you out in the cold yesterday and I sincerely doubt that you’d have any more luck with hotels today than you did yesterday.”

  


“So, that’s that?” Bernie asked, a little taken aback by the way her holidays were panning out.

  


“That’s that!” Serena said, the smile firmly back on her face obviously satisfied she didn’t have to say goodbye to the woman she for some reason had so quickly gotten so attached to.

  


“Okay. Erm, do you need any help with breakfast?”

  


“There isn’t much to be done but thank you.”

  


“Okay. But I insist that I help with the dinner because while I’m useless with most of the trimmings I do make a fairly decent turkey and gravy.”

  


“Well, don’t we fit together just perfectly?” Serena said, throwing a wink over her shoulder before turning back towards the sausages, not noticing the soft blush creeping across Bernie’s features as she imagined some of the other ways they might fit together.

  


***

  


After breakfast, laced with easy conversation and some moderate flirting, Serena had sent Bernie back upstairs with her kitbag, telling her in no uncertain terms that she is to occupy the guest room for at least one more night. Bernie discovered that while she didn’t really want to argue with Serena on the matter, she couldn’t either because the commanding tone mixed with Serena’s already rough and velvety voice rendered her speechless. Trying her best to hide the reaction Serena had caused Bernie quickly nodded her agreement, picking up her bag and dashing back up the stairs to cool down in private.

  


Serena had joined her soon after, letting her know she was going to shower and get dressed and that Bernie should make herself comfortable. Bernie promised she would but that had obviously been a lie because the moment she heard the shower being turned on she was buried under a wave of images filling her head of Serena right behind this wall, naked and wet, wondering if her eyes would be closed, if she would start with her hair or her body, what-

  


Bernie slapped her own thighs, the sting forcing her to return to reality, moving to go back downstairs in the hopes that some distance would help keep her mind away from the gutter. She took two semi-confident steps before being stopped dead in her tracks by the sound of the front door opening.

  


“Merry Christmas, Aunty Serena!” the voice of a young man called out, followed by the same sentiment coming from a young woman addressing a “Mum”.

  


_Shit!_

  


Bernie had in the soothing company of Serena completely forgotten about Jason and Elinor coming over who would most likely be in equal measures surprised and annoyed by the presence of a strange army medic in their home. And now they’re here. And Serena is in the shower. And Bernie was scared to move.

  


“I think she’s in the shower,” the male voice, Jason said.

  


“We can wait. Tea?”

  


“Yes, please.”

  


Bernie heard footsteps moving down the hallway towards the kitchen. Bernie didn’t know what to do. Go downstairs and introduce herself? Wait up here and hope they don’t come up like a coward so she can let Serena to the introductions? Neither seemed like a good idea. Maybe Serena had already let them know she was staying here? In which case hiding would seem even more childish.

  


“Elinor, has Aunty Serena started wearing combat boots?”

  


Bernie scrunched up her face and slapped her forehead. She’d completely forgotten about her boots under the coat rack by the front door, an obvious deviation from Serena’s more feminine and distinctly different style.

  


“What, you think she’s having a mid life crisis?” Elinor called out, moving back to the front door.

  


“There’s a pair of boots here that I’ve never seen before. Do you think she had a man stay over last night?” Jason asked.

  


_So much for Serena giving them a heads up._

  


“Maybe. Bit small to be a man’s though,” Elinor commented and Bernie felt ridiculous, listening to two people speculate about her based on her military issue boots.

  


“Aunty Serena is bisexual, she could be with a woman.”

  


Bernie choked on air. _Bisexual?_ She couldn’t stop hope and excitement from building up in her chest. _Serena is bisexual. Serena likes women as well as men._ Bernie felt like dancing, something she had never ever had the desire to do before.

  


Elinor’s groan pulled Bernie from her thoughts. “I know my mum isn’t dead from the waist down but I don’t want to think about her in bed with someone, I don’t care if it’s a man or a woman.”

  


“But if someone’s here, shouldn’t we go and introduce ourselves?” Jason asked matter-of-factly.

  


“If someone is here, they would have come down by now to say hi to us themselves. Unless they can’t hear us, that is.”

  


“The house is not big enough for us not to be heard, even if that person is upstairs,” Jason said, confused by Elinor’s statement.

  


“I meant unless they’re in the shower.”

  


“But then Aunty Serena would have come down to greet us.”

  


“The shower is big enough for two,” Elinor said and Bernie flushed a deep shade of red, the thought of being pressed up against Serena’s warm and probably extremely soft, if her hands were anything to go by, body, surrounded by hot water, heavy steam and the scent of the brunette’s shampoo.

  


“I suppose it could help save up some water.”

  


Bernie heard Elinor’s chuckle as she asked Jason to join her in the kitchen for tea. She was flooded with relief for all of 2 seconds before being overcome by panic.

  


_They know I’m here. Maybe I should hide? Or sneak out? No! I can’t do that to Serena. So I have to see them. And they think I was in the shower with Serena. And Elinor thinks we were… What if Elinor says something to Serena? She’ll deny it, of course. And then they’ll wonder why I didn’t go downstairs when I heard them come in. I can’t bloody well tell them I was scared of them, can I? But Elinor said she doesn’t want to think about her mother being intimate with someone. So she’s not going to mention it to Serena. And the topic won’t come up. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s…_

  


Bernie was busy telling herself that there was nothing to worry about when Serena’s bedroom door opened. She hadn’t noticed the shower being turned off.

  


“Hey! Did I hear Jason and Elinor?” she asked, head poked out between a small gap in the door. The small gap was wide enough that Bernie could see a creamy shoulder, droplets of water from towel dried hair making their way down towards the top of the towel wrapped around Serena’s body, the end tucked between her breasts.

  


“Bernie?”

  


The blonde’s head shot up, face flushed at being caught. Any hope that perhaps Serena hadn’t noticed being ogled gone the moment Bernie saw the naughty glint in Serena’s eyes, lips pulled into a knowing smirk.

  


“See something you like?”

  


“Yes! I mean, I, erm, uh, sorry. I’m sorry, Serena. I didn’t mean to-” Bernie stumbled through her apology, shocked at her own response as well as the speed at which she’d given it. Now that she’d torn her gaze away from Serena’s body she seemed completely incapable of returning it to her. At least Serena didn’t seem put off by Bernie’s words.

  


“Oh, there’s no need for that. An appreciative gaze from someone you like may be one of the greatest compliments one could ever receive,” she said.

  


_Someone you like?!_ Bernie’s brain short circuited. Apparently Serena decided to take pity on her, or at least tried to.

  


“So, Jason and Elinor?” she asked again.

  


“What? Oh, yes, I think they’re here,” Bernie said, failing completely at her attempt to sound nonchalant.

  


“Okay. Why don’t you go down and introduce yourself while I get ready. Sorry about that, by the way. They were meant to arrive a bit later. You don’t mind though, do you?”

  


“What? Of course not. Erm, I’ll just,” Bernie indicated towards the stairs with her head.

  


Serena gave a smile in response and closed the door again to get herself dried and dressed. Bernie took a deep breath and started the descent, mumbling “You moron,” as an encouragement to herself.

  


***

  


“Hello! You must be Aunty Serena’s guest,” Jason said the moment Bernie entered the kitchen for the second time that morning, heart hammering in her chest, palms needing to be wiped on her jeans.

  


“Hi. Yes, my name is Bernie.”

  


“Elinor, Jason,” Elinor said, indicating to herself and her cousin, trying her best to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks.

  


“Nice to meet you. Serena should be down shortly as well. She’s just getting dried and dressed.”

  


Elinor’s complexion took on a shade even closer to beetroot.

  


“Your hair is dry. Didn’t you share a shower with her?” Jason asked, not noticing both Bernie and Elinor wishing for the ground to swallow them.

  


“Erm, no. I, I didn’t.”

  


Elinor’s face stretched into a grin at the news. “So, what? You were too scared to come down?”

  


“Why would she be scared? We’re nice,” Jason said. “And she has military boots. If she’s in the army, she’s not scared.”

  


“You’re in the army?” Elinor asked, and Bernie could have hugged Jason for the change of subject had she not been warned by Serena the night before to refrain from any physical contact with her nephew.

  


“Erm, a medic in the Royal Army Medical Corps, yes. You have a good eye, Jason. I don’t think most people could spot the difference in boots.”

  


Jason preened under the praise and Bernie mentally congratulated herself for having managed to make an at least semi-decent first impression to at least one of the people she was going to be spending Christmas Day with. Her momentary joy was cut short by Elinor.

  


“No offence but what are you doing here, Bernie from the Royal whatever Medics thingy?” she asked but despite her words Bernie could detect at least a hint of offence from her voice. She was saved from having to answer by Serena walking into the kitchen. 

  


_Beautiful!_

  


Serena’s makeup was simple and soft but did wonders to enhance her natural beauty and Bernie was amazed at how quickly she had managed to put it on. It took her at least 3 times as long to get barely half as decent a result. Her hair had been dried and combed and again, Bernie couldn’t help but compare it to her own hopelessly messy strands. The fact that Serena’s hair looked incredibly soft forced Bernie to shove her hands into the pockets of her impossibly tight jeans to stop herself from reaching out. Serena was wearing an emerald green knee length long sleeve dress which looked festive without making Serena look like she was trying to impersonate Mrs Claus and Bernie felt decidedly under dressed in her black skinny jeans and black and white striped blouse.

  


Bernie was pulled back to earth by Elinor coughing awkwardly and Serena mumbling a shy thank you. She realised she must’ve spoken aloud upon seeing Serena. She really was growing tired of this awkward blushing that she felt was all she’d been doing since seeing Serena for the first time.

  


“Anyway, um, Bernie is home for the holidays. Home as in Holby. But unfortunately due to a series of- erm, mishaps it turned out she couldn’t find a place to stay for the night so, so I invited her over. And here she is,” Serena stuttered out and Bernie who had expected Serena to come and charm everyone with her effortless ease found it endlessly amusing. If she didn’t know any better she might have thought it was her accidentally given compliment that had caused Serena to lose her cool.

  


“Right. Cause that’s what people do,” Elinor drawled out. “And she’s staying here? For the day?”

  


“I- if you don’t mind, then that was the plan yes. But if it makes you uncomfortable then I can obviously leave and-”

  


“Aunty Serena said you had nowhere to go. And I like history and documentaries and you’re in the army so there is a lot I want to ask you.”

  


“So that’s settled then. Bernie’s staying,” Serena exclaimed.

  


***

  


Bernie had expected Elinor to put up more of a fight but instead of being put out by having a stranger in her mother’s house she had been almost eerily kind and welcoming towards Bernie throughout the day. They spent the time before lunch playing board games, Jason claiming it to be a Christmas miracle that he had finally been sent someone to play with who wasn’t ridiculously easy to beat. That was, he was happy until Bernie declared herself the winner of Catan when Jason himself was still at least 3 or 4 rounds away from finishing.

  


To prevent any potential sulking Serena was quick to declare lunch time and offered to make Jason’s favourite sandwiches. It lifted her nephew’s mood and by the time they were all tucking into their food Jason was already planning revenge on Bernie by way of promising to bring out the enemy of all family gatherings – Scrabble. (If Bernie failed to mention she was the champion of her regiment and hampered her chances of winning by making up words – well, that was definitely not intentional.)

  


When the time to start on dinner came round Serena was positively glowing. Bernie and Jason got on like a house on fire and Elinor was nicer to Bernie than Serena had ever seen her being to anyone before, which honestly made her a little apprehensive but she decided to enjoy it while it lasted. The fact that Bernie and she worked well in the kitchen, as Serena had predicted during breakfast, was a nice bonus. The turkey stuffing, made to the recipe of Bernie’s late mother, smelled delicious and Serena had high expectations for the gravy as well.

  


Once Serena had said that dinner would be revisited in approximately 3 hours, Elinor let everyone know she was going outside for a fag.

  


“Bernie, join me.”

  


Serena was quick to reply on Bernie’s behalf, “She doesn’t smoke.”

  


At Bernie’s guilty expression Elinor smirked. “You don’t, huh?”

  


“Erm, I used to smoke. I have quit, oh, about a hundred times. But nowadays I just have an odd one.” She risked a glance at Serena, expecting disgust or worse, disappointment, but all she saw was an amused glint in her eyes which was soon replaced as a slightly worried glance was directed at Elinor, an eyebrow raised in question. Bernie only shrugged in response. She had no clue what Serena’s daughter was up to.

  


“Well, come on then. Have an odd one with me.”

  


Bernie looked slightly uncertain so Serena stepped in. “Don’t pressure people into smoking,” she said, using her stern voice meant for unruly F1s and annoying customers.

  


Elinor ignored it, too used to it by now. “I’m not pressuring anyone. You don’t have to smoke. But join me anyway,” she said, leaving no room for arguments.

  


Once they were standing outside by the kitchen door, wrapped in their coats, Bernie watched Elinor take one cigarette out of the packet and put it between her lips before offering one to Bernie. She looked at the offer for a few seconds, contemplating.

  


“If you’re worried about mum, it’s fine. She used to smoke too, quite a lot actually when I was… oh, I don’t know if she told you about the rehab.”

  


“She did,” Bernie said, taking one and accepting Elinor’s offer to light it for her. “I’m glad you’re clean now.”

  


“Thanks. Mum doesn’t like it that I smoke but she doesn’t say anything because she used to smoke too. Still does, actually, just like you, has an odd one. And I suppose it’s better than cocaine so I’ve upgraded.”

  


Bernie was glad Elinor was able to joke about that part of her life but it did nothing to put her at ease. She felt like she was back in uni, about to take an exam, and Elinor was the professor everyone was scared of.

  


“Relax, I’m not going to bite. I just wanted to talk to you,” Elinor said, as if reading Bernie’s thoughts.

  


“Okay,” Bernie drew the word out, not completely convinced. She’d gathered from what Serena told her last night that Elinor was someone who knew her own mind and wasn’t afraid to express it. 

  


“I don’t like most people.”

  


Bernie snorted. “That’s reassuring.”

  


Elinor chuckled at that before continuing. “Has mum told you about Robbie?”

  


“No? Who’s that?”

  


“Mum’s ex. A complete wanker who was an asshole to Jason. Copper who let it get to his head. You know the type.”

  


Bernie hummed in agreement, not quite sure what this had to do with anything.

  


“He’s the kind of person who makes a great example of why I don’t like most people. Selfish, only out for themselves and always with a hidden agenda.”

  


Bernie hummed again but didn’t say anything, feeling as if Elinor wanted to say more.

  


“Now my mum knows you for not even 24 hours and I know you for even less. But I’ve learned to read people quite well and you seem…” Elinor trailed off as if unsure how she wanted to phrase it. “You seem like someone I wouldn’t not like.”

  


“I’m sorry, was that your around seven blocks way of saying I’m not a horrible person and you don’t hate my guts?”

  


Elinor rolled her eyes and while Bernie didn’t see much visual resemblance between her and her mother aside from the cleft in their chins she could see a certain someone’s influence in this small motion. “Yes. But don’t get cocky, you’re not off the hook just yet.”

  


“Go on then.”

  


“You like mum?”

  


“What do you mean?”

  


“You are shit at deflecting.”

  


Bernie sighed, admitting defeat. “I do.”

  


“Good. She likes you too.”

  


“Really?” Bernie’s eyes lit up. “I was hoping she would.”

  


“But you’re in the army.”

  


“Yes.”

  


“So you’re leaving again. Soon.”

  


“I am,” Bernie agreed with another sigh.

  


“Where to?”

  


“Afghanistan.”

  


“Shit.”

  


Bernie suppressed the desire to use her stern mother voice and say ‘language’, knowing it wouldn’t go down well. Instead she just agreed, “Yeah.”

  


“Do you want to try? See if something could happen with mum and you?”

  


“I think I would, yes. I- if she’s interested.”

  


“She is. But you’re going to a war zone. If you go for it and something happens to you, it could break her heart. If you break her heart-”

  


“I get it. You love your mum and you will skin me alive if I hurt her.”

  


“Something like that, yes.”

  


“Then I will try my best to not do that.”

  


“You can’t promise that,” Elinor said, not willing to take Bernie’s promise at a face value.

  


“I’m retiring soon. This is my last tour. Last 4 months. By the 6th of May I’ll be as civilian as you are.”

  


Elinor thought for a moment, then gave a small but resolute nod. She took a long drag of her cigarette before saying, “Look, I’m a dragon,” and blowing the smoke out through her nose. 

  


When Serena poked her head out from the back door to see what the two were getting up to she found her daughter and her newest friend smoking and wheezing with laughter as they were attempting to create what she assumed were smoke rings with their mouths only to end up looking like choking goldfish instead. They didn’t notice her so she reached for her phone on the counter and snapped a couple of pictures.

  


***

  


They decided to do presents before dinner.

  


“I’m so sorry we don’t have a gift for you,” Serena said as they settled on the soft, side by side, arms and thighs brushing together.

  


“Don’t be daft, you letting me stay here has been more than I could’ve asked for,” Bernie’s eyes were wide and honest, her tone earnest. They both noticed just how close they suddenly were to one another. Bernie could feel Serena’s breath on her face, Serena could smell the faint scent of cigarette smoke still clinging onto Bernie’s clothes. Serena’s eyes flicked down to Bernie’s lips and she caught herself contemplating what they would taste like. Cigarette smoke and coffee mixed with chocolate and honeycomb from the half of a Crunchie bar she’d nicked from Serena earlier?

  


“First one’s for me!” Jason declared, breaking the building tension between Bernie and Serena who sprang apart looking, to Elinor’s great amusement, like school children caught by the headmaster.

  


They went through most of the presents piled under the tree and while none were addressed to Bernie she didn’t feel left out. Quite the opposite, she took great joy in watching the others open their gifts, being just as surprised by the contents as the recipients, if not even more so, and finding out about the likes and interests of the people who had welcomed her into their home.

  


“Okay, this one is for Aunty Serena,” Jason said, taking the last parcel shoved far to the opposite side of the tree as if the one who put it there had hoped it would go unnoticed.

  


“One more? My, I have been a good girl this year,” Serena winked at Bernie as she reached for the oddly shaped and heavily taped package, causing the blonde to splutter into her coffee mug.

  


“Who on earth wrapped this?” Serena asked as she took a proper look at the present she’d been handed by her nephew.

  


“Not me,” Jason said and Serena didn’t doubt that for a second. His presents were always meticulously wrapped. 

  


Elinor usually had hers wrapped at wherever she made her purchase but even if she did end up doing it herself, it never looked like this. “I don’t tend to rely on half a roll of tape to keep my wrapping together,” she confirmed with a snort.

  


So that left-

  


“Bernie?”

  


“Yes, I know, there have been plenty of jokes made over the years about someone who can save the limbs of men and women who have stumbled on landmines not being able to wrap presents, but I was under the impression that it was the content that mattered.”

  


“You’re right. You didn’t have to get me anything but I’m grateful anyway, especially as you have tried so hard to make it impossible for me to find out what it is,” Serena said as she tried to find a place she could start to tear apart the package.

  


“Do you need scissors?” Jason asked as he watched his aunt struggle to get through the layers of tape.

  


“No, I’m good,” Serena mumbled through gritted teeth.

  


“How about a flamethrower?” Elinor asked.

  


“Ha-ha,” Bernie mocked but not really bothered.

  


“Aha!” Serena declared victoriously as she managed to tear a hole into the wrapping ‘paper’.

  


“What is it?” Elinor asked, as curious as Serena herself as to what Bernie had gotten her.

  


“Oh, my!” Serena murmured, her right hand fiddling with her pendant as the left held another necklace. It was an intricate silver piece with numerous colourful gemstones attached to it and it was obviously handcrafted.

  


“It’s beautiful,” Elinor sighed as she sat next to Serena to get a proper look.

  


“Bernie, you shouldn’t have! I can’t accept this.”

  


“Yes, you can and you will,” Bernie said firmly, pushing Serena’s hand that had moved to give the necklace back, back to Serena’s lap.

  


“You can’t give it away.”

  


“I can, because it was meant to be given away.”

  


“What do you mean?” Serena asked, confused.

  


“It was given to me by Bakthiar, an Afghani goldsmith. His eldest son was hurt in a bombing and I saved his life. He made it for me as a way to say thank you. I told him it was too much, that I would look ridiculous wearing it. So we came to an agreement that I would keep this until I found someone who could wear it in a way that would do it justice. And you could do it, no doubt. If- if you want it, that is,” Bernie finished, suddenly shy.

  


“Oh, Bernie, I love it. Thank you,” Serena said, pulling Bernie into a hug, burying her face into the blonde’s shoulder, breathing her in.

  


***

  


Once all presents had been opened it was finally time for dinner and true to her word, Bernie made the best gravy to go with the perfectly cooked turkey that Serena had ever tasted, let alone made. And while the roast was absolutely delicious, the company was even better. Serena could never have even begun to dream how well Bernie fit in with her family. Jason, who Serena had been worried would be put off by an unexpected guest, had decided from pretty much the first glance at the woman that he liked her and while Serena still didn’t have a clue what Bernie and Elinor had talked about during their cigarette break, it seemed to have turned their earlier friendliness into full on family style affectionate teasing.

  


They were all working on their second serving of mince pies with custard when Bernie’s phone, left on a kitchen counter some time in the morning where it remained for the rest of the day, gave a soft _bing_ to announce a message.

  


“Excuse me,” she said, jumping up to check who it was. There weren’t many people who would want to text her and those who did deserved her immediate attention. Aside from cutting edge technology in medicine Bernie was a bit of a dinosaur when it came to gadgets, including phones, which meant there was more than enough room for her to try and make more of an effort at better communication for those she cared about.

  


Bernie opened the text and read through it once, twice, three times before she was able properly to take in what it said. She covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a sob, glad she was in the kitchen and out of sight of the others still sitting in the dining room.

  
  


_From: troublesome son_

  


_Hello, Madre! If you’re free tomorrow, maybe we could meet at the Bitter Basket at 11AM for brunch? Lottie’s coming as well. It’d be nice to see you again. Let us know. Merry Christmas!_

  
  


“Hey, is everything okay?” Serena asked and though her voice was soft, Bernie startled anyway. She turned back away from Serena and tried to wipe away her tears but Serena had already noticed.

  


“What happened?” she asked, her voice closer than it was before. And then suddenly Serena’s arms were wrapped around her waist, turning her around so they were facing each other.

  


“I’m okay. Happy tears,” Bernie murmured, using the backs of her hands to wipe at her cheeks.

  


Serena let out a sigh of relief. “That’s good. Wanna share?”

  


“It was Cameron. He and Charlotte want to meet me tomorrow for brunch,” she said almost cautiously, as if scared that saying it out loud would make it go away.

  


“Oh, Bernie, I am so happy for you!” Serena exclaimed, pulling Bernie into a proper hug. “I told you they would come around,” she whispered into Bernie’s ear as the other woman nuzzled her still slightly wet nose against Serena’s neck.

  


“You did,” she agreed. “You also said you’re always right.”

  


“And I’ve never been more happy about it.” Serena squeezed Bernie more tightly to herself, catching herself thinking about how nice it felt to hold the other woman, wishing she didn’t have to let go.

  


_You have it bad, Campbell_.

  


***

  


“I think I’m staying the night,” Elinor said as Serena and Bernie made their way back to the dining room after Bernie had washed her face and replied to Cameron that she would love to meet them both the next day.

  


“Okay,” Serena said simply. “You know you’re always more than welcome to.”

  


“I think I’m staying as well. It’s cold and windy outside and I don’t feel like making my way across town to Greta’s place tonight. I’ve let her know I will be back tomorrow morning,” Jason said and exchanged a look with Elinor that let Serena know the two were up to something. She decided she didn’t really care as long as her favourite people stayed with her for a little while longer.

  


“As I said, you’re always more than welcome to,” Serena repeated herself to her nephew.

  


They opened another bottle of wine for Serena, Bernie and Elinor to share, Jason making himself a cup of hot chocolate and made their way back to the sitting room to have another go at a board game, this one brand new that Elinor had gotten for Jason among other things.

  


It was after midnight by the time Jason declared that to limit the damage already done to his usual routine he would be going off to bed. Elinor agreed that it had been a long day and it was time for her to turn in as well. It was at that moment Serena realised what the kids had been up to before.

  


“Where are you planning on sleeping?” she asked Elinor after Jason had already gone upstairs to his usual bedroom which he had claimed as his own right after Serena had bought the house after Elinor was done with her rehab.

  


“Erm, where I usually sleep?” Elinor said, feigning confusion at the question before failing to keep a grin from spreading across her face, bolting upstairs and into the room Bernie had occupied the night before, before her mother could react. Serena heard her setting something down in the hallway before closing the door with a joyous “Good night!” hollered loud enough to be heard all throughout the house.

  


Jason responded in kind, though at a much more reasonable volume, and suddenly the house was quiet.

  


“What was that?” Bernie asked, confused.

  


“I believe my daughter has just occupied the spare bedroom you were using and Jason has decided to stay in his own,” Serena said dryly.

  


“Oh.” Bernie furrowed her brow for a moment before saying, “That’s alright. I mean, I can sleep on the couch.”

  


“No, you cannot,” Serena said, her voice a little harsh and Bernie took a step back, startled by the reaction.

  


“I, erm, I can leave. If- if that’s what you would-”

  


“No! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. It’s just- never mind. But you’re not sleeping on the couch. You were blown up and, let’s be honest, neither of us is young enough to be spending the night on the sofa without ending up both looking and feeling like Quasimodos by the next morning.”

  


“So what do you propose?” Bernie asked cautiously, although she already knew the answer.

  


“As there are no other available options we’re going to have to share,” Serena said, gauging Bernie’s reaction.

  


“You don’t mind?” Bernie asked, surprised.

  


“No, not particularly. Do you?”

  


“No.”

  


“Okay then. I believe Elinor was ‘kind enough’” Serena said mockingly, “to set your bag outside for you.”

  


***

  


Getting ready for bed was filled with shy smiles, awkward dances in doorways before they managed to decide which way they would turn to get past each other and in Bernie’s case, standing at the foot of the bed, waiting for Serena to emerge from the bathroom to find out which side she usually slept on because unfortunately the bedside tables turned out to be useless as Serena used both of them. One had a glass water bottle and an alarm clock on it, the other a book and reading glasses.

  


“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Serena said as she entered the bedroom, turning off the bathroom light, massaging lotion into the backs of her hands.

  


“Wasn’t sure which side you slept on.”

  


“Oh, I don’t really mind. I guess I tend to move towards the window though,” Serena said, after thinking for a moment.

  


“Ah, you’re a switch then,” Bernie said before realising the double meaning and blushing crimson, resisting the urge to pull the blanket up over her head instead of just up to her chin.

  


“I’ve always thought of myself as more of a top but I suppose switch is more accurate,” Serena said, throwing a wink at Bernie before turning off the light, leaving them in darkness.

  


Bernie was lying on her back, staring at where the ceiling was. Part of her was glad for the cover of the darkness, hiding her blushes which during the past 27 or so hours seemed to have become a permanent fixture on her cheeks. Yet another part of her already missed being able to look at Serena. Serena had by now hugged her twice and she missed that as well. Being pressed up against the other woman felt warm. It felt safe. Like coming home should feel like.

  


“What’re you thinking about?” A soft voice asked Bernie.

  


For a moment, Bernie panicked, not knowing what to say, but emboldened by the darkness and the wine, she decided to be honest. 

  


“You.”

  


Serena’s breath hitched and she shuffled a little. Bernie turned her head and though she couldn’t see her, she assumed Serena must’ve turned to lie on her side, facing Bernie.

  


“Me too.”

  


“Good things, I hope,” Bernie said, attempting to ease the mood with humour.

  


“I think so.”

  


Bernie’s heart fluttered with nervousness. “What do you mean?”

  


“I’m scared,” Serena admitted so quietly Bernie had to focus to make sure she heard her.

  


“Of- of me?” she asked, ready to bolt out of the bed, out of the room, as far away from this house the moment Serena uttered an affirmative. The last thing she wanted was to frighten Serena.

  


“No.”

  


Bernie took a deep breath and slowly blew it out through her mouth, trying to calm her racing heart.

  


“I’ve known you for only a little more than a day. And I already care about you so much. I like you, Bernie. No, I- I more than like you.”

  


Bernie’s face broke into a wide grin. Elinor was right. “I more than like you, too,” she said, more sure of this than she had been of anything in a long time. She turned onto her side to face Serena, reaching out and fumbling around a little before managing to take hold of the brunette’s hand.

  


“Good,” Serena sighed, relieved. “Good! But, erm, what now?”

  


“Well, as I told Elinor, I would like to see where this goes. I’m here until January 5th. So we have a little time to- well, we could go on dates, if you’d like?” Bernie asked, hopeful, happy for the first time in forever. 

  


“Right.” Serena sounded forlorn and Bernie fought the urge to turn the lamp back on.

  


“What? What is it?”

  


“Is- I mean, it’s not just a holiday fling for you, is it?” Serena asked, her voice once again quiet and uncertain.

  


“No! No, of course not. But I have to finish my last tour,” Bernie moved forward, her hand searching for Serena’s cheek, caressing her hair and the soft skin under her eye.

  


“Last tour? You’re retiring?”

  


“Yes. As of 6th of May.”

  


“And then?”

  


“And then I was thinking of moving to Holby. Cameron lives here. He’s an F1 in Holby City. It’ll be nice to be closer to my children again, especially now they seem to be willing to talk to me again. And- and I think it’d be nice to be close to you as well.”

  


“Oh, Bernie!” And before she knew what was happening, Bernie had an armful of Serena Campbell. Years later, when reminiscing over their first kiss they would laugh at the fact that the actual first kiss had been Serena’s lips somewhere on Bernie’s cheek, just next to her nose, before moving lower to where Bernie’s own lips were. But it didn’t really matter because all had been forgotten the moment their lips actually met. There were no fireworks nor blown minds. It felt like coming home.

  


***

  


As they were about to drift off to sleep, Serena murmured, head nestled under Bernie’s chin, lips grazing her neck, “You know Jason and Elinor set this up, right?”

  


“I’ll thank them tomorrow.”


End file.
